On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
