No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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