I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
In America we eat man semen.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
