If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
