woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
