Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Randomize
