so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
