you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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