I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
