Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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