i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize