I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
