.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
