Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
