I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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