Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
