come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Mom said you looked used
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
