we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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