i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
