my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
