pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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