I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize