Your face is a jimmy john
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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