Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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