I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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