All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize