is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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