i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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