did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize