So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Be still, my beating vagina.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
