3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
