Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
