fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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