Do you still have your period?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
