Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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