ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
