So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
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I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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