he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
