Princesses don't give blow jobs
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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