I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
