I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
