If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
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i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
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cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
BRING THE BAGELS
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...