It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
