i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
