Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
