You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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