and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
