North Korea, Best Korea!
I just cut my nipple shaving
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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