Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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