Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night