Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.

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(718): don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time. http://tfl.nu/80vr

Replies (5) Good night (1983) Bad night (529)
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(425): View more from Washington

This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.

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(425): This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference. http://tfl.nu/xg4w

Replies (51) Good night (8911) Bad night (868)
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(815): View more from Illinois

just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.

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(815): just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet. http://tfl.nu/j91e

Replies (7) Good night (3303) Bad night (1012)
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(734): View more from Michigan

i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.

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(734): i seriously wanted to pee on her right then. http://tfl.nu/4s0s

Replies (15) Good night (1757) Bad night (2474)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.

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(618): Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly. http://tfl.nu/ma4l

Replies (2) Good night (2036) Bad night (2015)
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(707): View more from California

I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.

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(707): I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/fbru

Replies (9) Good night (3585) Bad night (715)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine

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(337): Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine http://tfl.nu/2dy1

Replies (4) Good night (1249) Bad night (1486)
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(703): View more from Virginia

You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".

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(703): You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick". http://tfl.nu/ootc

Replies (6) Good night (2230) Bad night (534)
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(207): View more from Maine

Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...

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(207): Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final... http://tfl.nu/w8p1

Replies (4) Good night (1350) Bad night (332)
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(361): View more from Texas

WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?

(903): View more from Texas

I would peed on everything

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(361): WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM? (903): I would peed on everything http://tfl.nu/6qp3

Replies (4) Good night (351) Bad night (499)
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(210): View more from Texas

did you know gatorade and rum go really good together

(1-210): View more from Texas

Are you doing depressed science again

(210): View more from Texas

maybe

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(210): did you know gatorade and rum go really good together (1-210): Are you doing depressed science again (210): maybe http://tfl.nu/zjts

Replies (4) Good night (819) Bad night (400)
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(513): View more from Ohio

So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.

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(513): So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time. http://tfl.nu/30oo

Replies (1) Good night (175) Bad night (342)
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(714): View more from California

I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it

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(714): I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it http://tfl.nu/cek3

Replies (3) Good night (449) Bad night (256)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back

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(860): Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back http://tfl.nu/64sk

Replies (7) Good night (323) Bad night (892)
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(631): View more from New York

Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.

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(631): Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds. http://tfl.nu/5z67

Replies (0) Good night (554) Bad night (144)

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