Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide

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  (813): watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide http://tfl.nu/fnhs
  Replies (41) Good night (7443) Bad night (658)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.

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  (727): Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America. http://tfl.nu/b8jy
  Replies (36) Good night (7165) Bad night (1425)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.

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  (910): Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job. http://tfl.nu/jru8
  Replies (6) Good night (3269) Bad night (820)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone

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  (206): In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone http://tfl.nu/jkow
  Replies (5) Good night (1906) Bad night (1483)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable

  (678): View more from Georgia

  not having any beer money sounds even more miserable

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  (770): I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable (678): not having any beer money sounds even more miserable http://tfl.nu/amg8
  Replies (3) Good night (2055) Bad night (606)
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  (925): View more from California

  But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point

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  (925): But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point http://tfl.nu/knq2
  Replies (5) Good night (1158) Bad night (674)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.

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  (803): I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT. http://tfl.nu/pk4z
  Replies (4) Good night (1497) Bad night (554)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.

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  (603): Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you. http://tfl.nu/ssin
  Replies (4) Good night (1208) Bad night (549)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.

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  (970): Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush. http://tfl.nu/v4yp
  Replies (0) Good night (842) Bad night (373)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed

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  (206): Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed http://tfl.nu/3k2a
  Replies (10) Good night (800) Bad night (501)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."

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  (763): she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant." http://tfl.nu/1vw9
  Replies (7) Good night (528) Bad night (887)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.

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  (248): Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift. http://tfl.nu/gpor
  Replies (5) Good night (898) Bad night (563)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.

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  (860): You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things. http://tfl.nu/7bgy
  Replies (1) Good night (614) Bad night (345)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them

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  (617): Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them http://tfl.nu/p251
  Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (333)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.

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  (231): I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me. http://tfl.nu/8mfk
  Replies (0) Good night (429) Bad night (200)

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