i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.