Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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