it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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