I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
