I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
