Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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