Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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