dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
