your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
