You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
