The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize