how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
