hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
