I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
