Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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