it hurts more in the daytime
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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