saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
