Welp...herpes.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
so much tequila, so little girl.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
