god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
